


Immortality Isn't Always a Good Thing

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-26
Updated: 2006-07-26
Packaged: 2019-01-19 17:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Voldemort has achieved the Immortality he wanted. Harry is about to show him that it doesn't have to be a good thing.





	Immortality Isn't Always a Good Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_**Immortality is Not Always a Good Thing.** _

Harry ducked the thin red line that erupted from the Death Eater’s wand and sent a Stupefy his way. The Death Eater was not quite as quick as Harry had been, and fell. Harry tied him up and broke his wand. Harry stopped hunting Death Eaters for a second, looking for the others.

There were Ron and Hermione, dealing with another Death Eater much the way Harry had just dealt with the one at his feet. Harry raised an eyebrow as he realized that they were arguing. You'd think that after three years of marriage, they would either run out of arguments or just stop, but no, those two never stopped. Harry shivered as he remembered a drunken conversation with Ron one night after Voldemort had found the key to immortality. There was one time they did not argue, and Harry had learned far too much, about what they did at night when they weren't arguing before he could quiet Ron. Ron had passed out in the middle of a sentence, and Harry wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. On the one hand, he really didn't want to know what the two dearest friends he had did at night. After all, when you regard them as your brother and sister, it’s a little strange to hear one of them talking about snogging and shagging the other. Even with that though, Harry sometimes wished that Ron had waited just a few seconds longer to pass out. He had long ago figured out what the chocolate syrup and strawberries were for, but what did they do with a ping-pong paddle, two Peacock feathers, and a toy car?

He shook off that train of thought and continued looking for the rest of the Order that had been in headquarters when the news had come in of this attack. There were Neville and Luna, and Harry had to grin again. Luna had walked up to Ron one day, and sat down next to him. She had told him that he was far too emotional, and that they would never work out. The fact that her quiet crush on Ron had never been any more than that didn't seem to matter to her. While Ron sat there staring at her, she had turned to Neville and taken his hand. The two of them had been gone for two days, and when they came back, Neville had the dazed look of a man hit in the head with a board, and Luna had been even more dreamy than normal for her. Harry had to admit that Luna had been good for Neville in one way. He didn't lose things now, because it turned out that under the absent expression, Luna had an amazing eye for those details that Neville was always missing.

Harry caught sight of Tonks and a shadow crossed his face. Remus and Tonks had just started exploring a relationship when Remus had been injured in a fight with Death Eaters, and now Tonks spent most of her time next to his bedside, nursing him as he recovered. Another week or so, and he’d be well enough to get out of bed. Harry winced as she closed with a Death Eater. Tonks was just a bit angry with the minions of Voldemort right now and it wasn't pretty, the things she did with those claws. Harry turned away, not being able to watch as she shredded the poor man’s robes, taking bits of skin and flesh with the robes. It might not be so bad, if she didn't have the habit of starting her swing down around her knees, so she'd get the maximum power in her attack. Tonks usually hit her target about six inches below the belt, and shredded everything on the way to their throat. Harry shivered as a high-pitched wail told him she'd hit this one low as well. She hadn't killed any of them yet, but the looks on most of the male faces that she brought in said that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

A movement caught his eye, and Harry turned, looking for whatever had attracted his attention. He rubbed his eyes as a Death Eater stumbled out of a grove of trees. He knew who was in the grove without even looking. Only one pair would have the Death Eater in that condition. Harry watched with bemusement as the Death Eater tried to cast a spell. He couldn't, because you need a wand and tongue to do so. You can’t talk well enough to cast a spell when your tongue is five feet long and growing, and having chicken wings in place of arms doesn't help hold your wand either. Harry shook his head in bemusement as the Weasley twins came out of the grove and collected their victim.

"Are the children ok, mother?” Harry's eyes lit up as he heard his favorite sound in the world. He turned and looked at the angel that had consented to marry him nearly a year ago.

Ginny Weasley was walking toward him, and he raised an eyebrow at the pile of incapacitated bodies drifting along behind her.

"Cleaning up after the children again?" It was common knowledge that Harry worried incessantly about all the people that fought with him, and the mother jokes were Ginny’s way of distracting him in public. Harry much preferred her way of distracting him in private, but he was certain most of those things would get them arrested in public places.

Ginny shrugged, and turned to look at the pile. "Somebody has to collect them. If we don’t, then Voldemort will, and they might have learned something from this encounter."

Harry moved up next to her, draping an arm around her shoulders. "I prefer it this way. Voldemort is running out of talent. One of these idiots actually fell for the Wing and Tongue prank." He took his arm from her, and turned, his mood changing. "Voldemort still has Draco though, and that makes them dangerous."

The Voldemort war was nearly over. Only two really dangerous Death Eaters remained, and Voldemort. The rest were too raw and much too weak to be dangerous to the veteran Order members, and after six years of fighting, that was nearly everyone.

The only way this bunch could win against the Order was to catch one or two alone and swamp them with sheer numbers. Since that was a rare occurrence, the last person they had gotten was Remus, and he’d been defending a classroom full of kids at the time. Denied mobility, and with nearly a dozen Death Eaters attacking, he’d still taken eight of them down, and held them off long enough for the children to get away.

Harry watched as the various members of the Order of the Phoenix collected the last few bodies. He looked over his shoulder. "It appears we're done here. Would you care to join the rest, and then take the night off?"

Ginny grinned at him, answering his question with a kiss.

"How touching.” Harry and Ginny stiffened, and spun around.

Harry's eyes blazed as he saw the three he really wanted standing not twenty feet away. "Finally decided to join the party, Tom?" he said, smiling savagely. "It's almost over now. I should have known you’d be late."

Ginny was staring at Draco Malfoy with the same intensity that a starving lion would watch approaching prey. Having heard all about her plans for Draco far too often late at night, Harry almost pitied him. At least, until he remembered the naked, bleeding lump the Order had rescued from Draco's house. Then all his sympathy disappeared, and his only wish was that Colin had survived long to get pictures of what Ginny was going to do to Draco.

He spared a cold glance for Peter, hiding behind the other two. Harry fingered his wand, sending a pulse through it, calling one particular member of the Order. The silent summoning spell that Professor Dumbledore had taught them was limited, but in this case, it was just what Harry needed. He wasn't about to turn this fight into a general brawl. With the secret of immortality, Voldemort was far too dangerous to allow the Order to get involved. "Tom, are you truly immortal?” Harry asked him.

The years had not changed Tom Riddle much. The immortality had brought Voldemort back to a human appearance, and he was a tall man, who might have been handsome, if it wasn't for the sheer malevolence that twisted his face. Voldemort smiled, if an expression without any humanity in it could be called that. "Truly immortal. No potions to take, no amulets to wear, just eternal life.” Voldemort’s eyes flicked behind Harry, and Ginny half turned, looking behind them

"Wotcher, Harry.” Tonks voice cut off as she saw the three men standing behind Harry and Ginny. Her eyes locked on the man that had planned and led the attack that had nearly taken Remus from her. "Thank you, Harry."

Harry turned back to Voldemort. "What do you say, Tom? Shall we finish this now, just the six of us?” Harry gestured at the two women with him. "These two ladies have their own plans for those two, and you and I can finally have that discussion we've been missing."

Voldemort stared at Harry suspiciously. "You're very eager to go to your death, Potter."

Harry didn't speak, he snarled. "No, Tom, I'm tired. Tired of chasing you through the shadows, tired of you sneaking away to hurt more people, and tired of you always running from me. Immortality must suck, when you're still a cowardly shit."

Voldemort and Harry faced off, as the other four started circling, looking for some sort of an advantage over their opponents.

Tonks simply started toward Peter Pettigrew. "You owe me, rat, and now I'm going to collect.” She used something she learned from watching Remus change, and suddenly there were four-inch claws on her hands. Peter turned and ran toward a small grove, looking for a hole to hide in. Tonks smiled thinly, and followed him.

Draco stood there, waiting for Ginny to close the distance between them. "You're looking better than the last time I saw you," he sneered.

Ginny grew still, as she flashed back to the five days she’d spent as Draco’s captive, and then looked at Draco. "Thank you," she said mockingly. "I've found a man who knows how to treat a woman, and lasts more than fifteen seconds."

Draco paled in anger, and pulled his wand. He started to point it at Ginny, but she'd been waiting for this, and she had her wand pointed at him. "Expellerus" she cried, and followed it closely with "Impedmento.” Ginny moved a bit closer, watching Draco closely. Draco struggled against the slowing spell, watching Ginny come closer with the first touches of fear in his face. Ginny came closer, and cast a third spell. "Immobulus"

Ginny looked at the man who had nearly destroyed her, physically and mentally three years ago. It had taken two years for Harry to convince her that she was not to blame, and that he still loved her. Ginny was about to pay that lost time back in spades. "You know how memories can be removed, and saved in a Pensive, don't you, Draco?"

Ginny nodded at the confusion in Draco’s eyes. "I know, you’re wondering what that has to do with us, right now. I'm going to explain that to you.” She placed her wand to her temple and began turning it slowly. "You see, you can save the memories, or you can give them to somebody else. Right now, I'm collecting every painful, humiliating, degrading or horrible memory I have of those days you tortured me.”

Ginny pulled her wand away from her head, and looked at the thick mass of silvery threads clinging to it. She stood in front of Draco, keeping the wand where he could see it. The first touches of panic were crowding the fear out of his eyes as he listened to Ginny. She took a Muggle laundry marker out of her pocket, and began drawing arcane symbols on Draco’s face and head as she continued to speak.

"Usually, when you look at somebody else's memories, you are there, but only as a spectator. The spell I'm going to use changes that just a little. You’re going to live through these memories," and Ginny waved the wand in front of his face again, "just the way I did. You’re going to experience it all, as if it was truly happening to you."

Ginny finished the symbols, and looked at Draco one last time. "Oh yes, there is one more difference to this spell. These memories are tied off in a loop. When you finish experiencing them, it will start over, and each time, it’s going to be the first time again." Ginny looked into Draco's eyes, assuring herself that he knew what was about to happen, and placed her wand to his temple. A few seconds later, she walked away, and went looking for Harry as the first screams started behind her.

She found Tonks first, just coming out of a grove of trees. Ginny froze when she saw Tonks, and rushed toward her, fumbling for the first aid kit that she always carried these days.

Tonks saw her coming and smiled. "Wotcher, Gin. Where’s that man of yours?"

Ginny blinked, looking at Tonks carefully. "Is any of that yours?" Tonks looked down at herself and figured out rather quickly what had flustered Ginny so badly. She was covered in blood, from the gore caked on her feet, to the rivulets drying on her face and hair. Her arms were a solid red all the way to her elbows, and the rest of her was liberally splashed with more drying fluids.

Ginny frowned, as she inspected Tonks closer. "What is that?" she asked, pointing at a thing on Tonks’ shirt.

Tonks picked the blob off her shirt, and examined it carefully. "I believe it’s a piece of liver," she said, after examining it carefully. She threw it aside and then reached into her robes. She pulled out a bloody mess and showed it to Ginny. "Do you like my new souvenir?" she asked brightly. "I haven’t decided where to put it yet, but I'll think of something."

Ginny took a minute to identify the bloody item in Tonks’ hand, and was just realizing that it was silver, and had fingers when Tonks put it back in her robes. "What do you say? Shall we go watch your Harry put paid to Voldemort’s bill?"

Ginny regarded the cheerfully smiling woman carefully, thinking about the scenario that would end with Tonks having Peter’s hand and bits of his liver on her, and quickly decided she didn't want to think about that. "Tonks," she said, as they started looking for Harry, "You do know that Remus and I are only friends, don’t you?"

Harry was carefully testing the limits of Voldemort’s defenses. Both of them knew what would happen if their spells touched, and they were using spells that avoided that. "Wingardium Leviosa" launched rocks at their opponent, and fire spells started their robes smoking.

Voldemort was sneering. So far, he’d come out the better in this contest. Harry was bleeding from a dozen small cuts, and had been hit with a Crucio curse once. His robes were singed and torn, and his nose had a trickle of blood coming from it. Harry had tried every spell he knew, and nothing had been effective. Voldemort was standing in the middle of a small depression and Harry was circling him as the women found them.

Tonks started to rush to Harry’s aid, but Ginny stopped her. "Just wait, Harry has a plan."

Tonks looked down into the hollow. "Does it include getting pounded on? Because if so, it seems to be working."

Harry stood up and looked at the being that had plagued his existence for as long as Harry could remember. "You truly are immortal, aren't you?"

Voldemort sneered at Harry. "I thought you were smarter than that. It has taken you this long to realize it?"

Harry shrugged. "You'll understand if I had to make sure."

Voldemort stared at Harry. "What will you do now, Potter? The Prophecy that binds us states that one must die, but I cannot die. That does not seem to leave you many options."

Harry looked at him, and his shoulders sagged. "We've lived for twenty-four years, and I don’t recall there being a time line on the Prophecy. What would it take, for you to let me take the Order of the Phoenix, and just leave?"

Voldemort stared at Harry. "Leave? So you can interrupt my people the next time I send them out?"

Harry shook his head. "Not leave the field, leave Europe entirely. See, you could kill me today, but then the rest of the Order would continue the fight. You would beat them eventually, but along the way, they would destroy many of your Death Eaters. You might have noticed that it’s getting harder to find good help these days." Harry paused for a second to allow Voldemort to think about that, and then continued. "You would also kill all my friends. Since I don't want that, I'm asking you what it would take, for you to allow the Order to leave Europe. We'll go to Asia, or America, it doesn't really matter. By the time you finish consolidating your power in Europe, and can start spreading out, the Order will be mostly dead, or nearly so, and I will have kept my friends alive."

Voldemort looked at the beaten look on Harry’s face and laughed. "I would normally kill anyone that came to me begging like this, Potter, but the thought of you living, knowing that I have won, and that there is nothing you can do about it amuses me."

Voldemort looked at Harry, and thought. "It will cost you two things, Potter. Your wand, the brother wand to my own, and your magic. I will remove any ability you have to do magic before we part today."

Harry bowed his head, and softly agreed to Voldemort's terms. He reached into his robes, and pulled out his wand. Voldemort watched him closely, suspecting a trick, but Harry merely held the wand out to Voldemort, butt first. Voldemort took a step forward, and reached for the wand. Harry's head came up, and Voldemort paused, with his wand pointed at Harry. "Tell me something, Lord Voldemort. If I had been able to cast the Crucio curse, would it have hurt you?"

Voldemort stared at Harry for a second, seeing the defeat, and understanding that Harry wanted to know if there had been any chance. "It would have hurt a little, but that would have been all.” Voldemort said, as he took the wand from Harry's hand.

As soon as he did, Harry stood up, and smiled at him. "Not much time, Tom, so I have to make this fast. It's payback time."

Voldemort blinked, until he felt the familiar tug that signified a Portkey. He tried to let go of the wand, but it was stuck to his hand. The world swirled around him, and he vanished.

Harry stood there for a minute, smiling at nothing, until the two women reached his side. Ginny started fussing over Harry’s cuts and Tonks stood there watching for all of five or six seconds before asking, "Where is he, Harry? What happened?"

Harry looked at Tonks and smiled. "He's immortal. I couldn't kill him, so I needed to restrain him somehow. The problem with that is that anywhere we could guard him, he would escape from. When you have eternity to make plans, eventually you will succeed. So, I went to Ollivenders and had him make me a duplicate wand that looked exactly like mine, without the core. Then, I did a bit of research, and chose the best place in the world to send Tom."

Tonks waited, and when Harry didn't say anything more, she asked. "Where did you send him?"

Harry cocked his head, and for an instant, his expression reminded Tonks of Voldemort. Then it passed, and he was just Harry again. "I grew up with Muggles, you know. They used to drag me to the church on Sundays, and there was one picture that stayed in my mind. I chose the closest thing you can get on earth." Harry smiled at Ginny as she finished with his cuts. "I believe we were going to take the night off?"

Ginny smiled at him, and put an arm around his waist. "Just what do you have in mind, Mr. Potter?” Harry bent down, and whispered something in her ear. Ginny blushed, and wormed her way under his arm. "That sounds interesting, but what are the ping-pong paddle, feathers and toy car for?"

 

Lord Voldemort, Immortal Wizard and Master of the World reappeared, and he had just enough time to realize that he was in serious trouble, before the heat and gasses stole his breath away and he watched in despair as the two wands he held caught fire. 

After that, there was only pain, as he sank below the molten lava that would be his prison for the foreseeable future. 


End file.
